Fear

Fear is something I was thinking a lot about yesterday. namely, my own fear. As the deadline for Red Hot Fairy Tales loomed I have become more and more stressed. I finally admitted my fear to my husband last night who asked "Will it be ready in time for the deadline?" Yes, it will, he was then confused on what I was afraid of. I had to explain that it was the fear of letting my baby go. This book has been a stretch for me both in the short length and in attempting to write "hot". LOL. Or I should say, just going with the hot instead of my normal, nah, it's too early in the book for that. I got rid of that little voice on page 10.

I found myself working on taxes on Monday and Tuesday, why? Because I had to take my mind off it. The book is done and out with beta readers to catch anything I missed. But I couldn't stop obsessing. I know enough about myself that I couldn't start a new book, just yet, so what do I do. Taxes. Ack. I gotta get a more interesting life. And I couldn't even finish the darn taxes because most companies don't send out all those tax forms till the end of January.

Back to fear. I wrote my first draft of my synopsis and query letter yesterday will polish them up today. I start worrying abut the title. Nothing had come to me while I was writing it. The darn thing doesn't have a title. You can't submit a book without a title. And there goes the fear again. Plus, I need a name. I'd already decided that I was going to submit this book under a pen name since my nonfiction book is written under my real name and is geared toward YA readers - this new book is not YA at all. This is where my husband found me, obsessing about titles and pen names.

With his help I settled on both last night. Actually picking the ones I had been leaning toward, but needed that little push to solidify my decisions.

What I noticed most as I thought about the urgency I felt was that these were things that, yes, I had to get done and done before I send in my submission, but the fear added stress and urgency to the mix that wouldn't have been there. And quite frankly it didn't move the process on any faster.

I don't have any advice on handling fear as I'm still working on my own though I will say that I took an excellent course called Warrior Writer that talks a lot about this which I think is why I was able to identify the fear so quickly and figure out the underlying cause of the fear.

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